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Writer's pictureNgcebo

Dying Deers and Mizing Men




First year taught us a lot. After a few heart-breaking encounters with the opposite sex, my band of brothers and I realised that these beasts are 10 times worse than men (I kid you not). So in second year after a few more encounters,we decided, as a group, to adopt a concept of Mizing as Men, (I shit you not! In retrospect this was theee gayest thing we ever did, but stick with me here); that means for a while we would take a break from women and try refocus our life (seems cool right?). So, if we went out, we would just have fun as the boys (I swear we're straight). The problem comes with the fact that we decided this a few days before Pub Crawl (this is an event where you hop onto a bus and visit different bars and clubs). So, you can imagine the abundance of women present at the event.... our determination was about to be tested.


On the day of the event we are adamant with our stand. Our bro Chevael was already crazy drunk at the beginning so he was already out with women that night. Good start to mizing as men don't you think? At the first stop, kwaLechaba... the men stand strong. We don't let the evil ones break our resolve. We see a couple of great looking ladies eying the boys, but we are unshaken.


This is until I get onto the bus and meet this lovely lady there. Short, full bodied, the package. I had just come out of a relationship, so I was a bit rusty. We start talking and it’s good, we are clicking, and the convo is going well.... I look back at my brothers in arms and can see the disappointment in their faces. I had broken the sacred oath. But what's a young man supposed to do? A great philosopher once said “homies over hoes". And karma always comes back to bite those who go against these words.


At our next stop I'm thinking I'm gonna meet up with this chick and maybe start the night early (wink-wink, nudge-nudge). THEN she disappears! But a sense of hope still remains. I hope to still see her a bit later, so I don’t worry too much. We dance, we party and there’s one more stop until we go home. The guys are still adamantly stoic in their pursuit of the goal. When I say at some point a woman was sitting on my boys’ lap trying to get him to do something and he was still standing by his virtue as a mizer. A great man indeed I tell you. And there I was, looking for this lovely lady I was hoping would lay with me that night (I swear I'm not a dog or anything).


And I couldn't find her. I had betrayed the boys for nothing.


So, on the bus home I'm now in the mizing as men bag. When I say there was a girl playing with my hair and cap, trying to get my attention on the bus you would think I’m lying, and I sat there refusing to respond. I end up making light conversation without trying to lead anyone on. I'm a true hero in the mizing as men world (I think). I’m redeemed from my past transgressions.


The next morning, I go to the dining hall and I hear a hilarious story. There was a girl who was being mounted upon by one of the guys at res and was keeping the whole corridor up with her noises. She was moaning loud enough for everyone to hear. Guys were complaining about how they couldn’t sleep the entire night because of her. It was all jokes the entire time at the dining hall. The guy then comes into the dining room and gets a few handshakes and such (we are not animals, we are merely a product of our society). I'm close to him so I ask the girls name...


The name I hear makes my heart stop. I ask, I mean, I beg for a pic, he refuses for a long time until he agrees and much to my dismay... the dying deer everyone was talking about was my pretty young thing from the night before.... heartbreak once again.

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