Ngcebo discusses the paths we choose leading to getting paid for our passion or getting paid then pursuing our passions. A relatable take on securing whichever bag.
“I wanted to do this... but my parents didn't want me to”
“Like there's no money in that career hey”
I hear this about 5 times a year in varsity, and this is coming from someone who doesn't like meeting new people so you can imagine how bad it is.
Being black is hard. Don't get me wrong, other cultures have it hard too but the pressure of not failing for us is on another level. It can be because your family put all their bread in your basket and said, “take us to the promised land”. Pressure of not wanting to fail ‘cause you're the first in your family to be pursuing a degree and everyone is looking at you. From your second cousin knowing you have exactly 35 months left till you graduate... or your lil cousin saying, “I wanna be a doctor like you when I grow up”, when you're just a third year student.... It’s rough. And I feel like our generation has the most pressure. For a lot of us, we're the first to have this much opportunity in our families. They look at us and think, “I didn't have these opportunities so of course he can't fail. He has it easy”, and that kinda thinking is detrimental. I went to a white high school and my older cousins who didn't have the same opportunities used to say we used to get the papers before we wrote, so I couldn't do badly in matric...(nonsense by the way. We get a copy of the test, not the actual test, idiots really).... but you get the logic here. We can't fail. We can't not be rich.
What this does, is stop us from trying to be creative. From trying to take risks. We look for a safe sure fire jobs that will give us money so at family gatherings you don't look like a failure. And although we might enjoy it a bit ... It’s just not what you wanted do.
I look at the people around me. A few of them do drawings, poetry, and music, they have voices that would bring R Kelly to his knees but do these things on the side. Their true passions really, things that you can see make them happy but the family pressure keeps them doing these things. And the things they are studying… well there’s no real passion or motivation there. Even their character don’t match up with what they doing.
But our generation has fighters. People who actually had the courage to do what they wanted. And this is about them. The ones who had the confidence in their passion and are doing what they love. Cause goddamn it’s hard. Even starting this blog was scary and I only do this part time, so imagine telling your family that you want to do something creative as a job. That level of confidence and courage is something I purely lacked.
So to the creatives held by their families, don't give up your craft, even if you're doing it behind your parents back or part time. Finish your law degree or medical degree while doing what you love ‘cause once you graduate you actually have freedom to do what you want. And I mean I'm not gonna say drop out… ‘cause I mean, we're black... but don't forget about yourself and what you love. You really don't wanna be bitter one day thinking about what could have been. I know I don’t. Use your parents’ career to try finance your own desires... especially before you start your family ‘cause then the money is not really yours.