Never in my life had I thought that the simple act of crossing the road could be fatal. That going to the restroom could be the last time my loved one's see me. Or deciding to leave a party early and take an uber back home could be the last autonomous decision I make. This is a reality I was only made aware of and introduced to in, I'd say 2016, when I started getting close to a few female friends and they let me into their frightening version of South Africa.
Late afternoon strolls around my neighbourhood are something I do to relieve stress. A rather
relaxing event. I'd never get it when my female homies would say, "please walk me home",
the only thing that came in mind was the inconvenience of the trip, either having to leave my
very warm and comfy room or interrupt my studying. Meanwhile she's trying to avoid being
abducted and having God knows what done to her.
Recently I've been fixing together an "arrive alive" kit for my significant other. Consisting of a
taser, whistle and pepper spray. I hate that this is the situation we find ourselves in. That the
onus is on the victim to take extraordinary precautions. You know what though, it's not like
kidnapping, rape, murder and gender-based violence is something new. We've had the highest rate of rape and domestic violence in the world, for a very long time. But and I think I speak for everyone when I say, Uyinene's tragic tale really hit home and struck accord. A fire was sparked and it brought people to action across the country. We all know the division and animosity that exists in this country, so it just tells you the magnitude such an event had, to impact all of us.
As you know, with every article I offer my very own two cents. And this time I feel I'm actually
qualified to, seeing as I am a man and the solution to this problem starts with us. It's a
complicated and complex problem, its roots run deep and trickle into conversations we have
as men. And so, such a problem's solution isn't that simple. But simply put, it starts with the
little things we do, sometimes done when you're unaware in the moment. The hypersexual
comments we make amongst each other or even in the presence of women. The very
unnecessary cat-calling culture. The uncomfortably suggestive comments made on a women's
social media posts. The gaze that lasts for a little bit too long, then becomes straight up creepy.
The whole club culture is problematic; from the intentions of the men and the persistence they
display at parties.
A lot of stuff, not just anti-rape campaigns can be done to stop women from feeling unsafe.
A bit of dark humour for today, what do you call a group of men? A threat. Funny but there's
always a bit of honesty to all dark humour. Summing it all up before I start rambling on, guys
let's just do what needs to be done. Let's stop perpetuating the culture. The change starts with
you.