There's always that guy in the squad, isn't there. The guy who, whenever we enter a groove, is the first to enter the circle and proceed to deliver a combination of gyrations and vosho's that leave the crowd dying with envy. Umajayivana.
Being the "umajayivana" of my squad is really an underrated and lonely job. I'm speaking from experience, as I was for a while (not anymore), the mjayivane of my squad. Whenever your comrades aren't as yet invested in the groove, it is your duty to go to the dance floor and try get everybody else's energy up. You can never not be in the mood to dance. Because if you don't get into it, to be honest, the whole squad won't have a good night.
When your squad is talking and someone brings up that you can dance, bro, you going to be expected to show your moves. You feel like a toddler with the extended family having a jika majika showpiece with your aunts. And dare you meet up with another squad whose majayivana is on form, my boy you're in for a tough night. You are now representing everyone there.
Now its just after 12 and you are sweating. Your cologne is struggling in those moments to handle the fumes emanating from your armpits. Your shirt now has wet spots all over it. And where are your comrades, bagging a hun for the night. Cause that’s what they were busy doing whilst you were in the circle, getting sweaty. They kept to the agenda. And we all know it isn't the 90s anymore where our mothers chose their husbands by how well they did the stanky leg at the club.
You approach a woman smelling like you came from a 9-5 with overtime, you will get rejected quicker than a virgin having his first go at the coitus. All you can really do is try your luck with the majayivanas of the opposite sex. These are usually braided huns or huns with a fade. They too are usually also in need of a shower at that point… making your meeting a concoction of aromas, that would give a hyposmia patient a hard time.
So to all the Mjayivanas out there. Brothers and sisters, if you still have hopes of getting a little loving that night, calm the fuck down. While you're in the middle of the circle getting it down, your fellow brothers are already taking numbers. Now at the end of the night, you're sharing an uber van with women, knowing full well you'll be watching series alone when you get home. Save yourselves my former teammates .
Yours sincerely, a retired majayivana.
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