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Writer's pictureNtando

Man FLu


The Man Flu

So I'm back with another very important article. The topic for today although relevant is not as important as the topic of male contraceptives, yes I'm still on that. The introduction of those would make the world a better place. Now I don’t want to jump the gun but I think world peace wouldn't be too far of a stretch after male contraceptives are commonly used. But I digress. Today I am here to shed light on a topic shunned upon for many years because of sexism and all that.


As many of you know this year, I have been dedicating my life and time, energy and focus to conducting extensive research on the field of viral infections. Focusing on, dare I say, objectively so, the worst viral infection to ever affect mankind. Trying to describe its symptoms and my past experiences brings back horrific flashbacks of what I have endured in my past life. But for the sake of the story today, I shall open up to y'all.


One's body feels as if it were left to be trampled on by one hundred elephants and another one hundred Rick Ross's. Your throat feels like hot knives are having a rave in there with the headaches feeling like you've just been sucker-punched by Chris Brown. Your mucous production reaches an all time high making it almost impossible to breath. The agony experienced even during the worst period pains pales in comparison to that of the man flu (yes, I said it!). Dude, your will to live diminishes with every passing minute and women have the audacity to look at you like you're being a little bitch.


As you guys should know by now, all my articles come with a bestowing of knowledge. So for today that knowledge is, next time your man is "bitching" about his bout of man flu, it ain't no joke. He requires your immediate assistance, with everything. And I don't want to be dramatic but he's quite possibly on his deathbed. And how can you mize a person on their deathbed?

All joking aside though, just like how us men should tend to our women's every need when it's that time of the month. The same care and affection should be shown to us. I feel like somebody had to say it cuz sometimes men are too "tough" to be vulnerable. I'm a proud soft ass nigga, so I have no such problems.

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