Hear Ye, hear Ye, our roastee today is the Jesus look alike without the swag, the monotone messiah marching maniacally through the morning sun to a mundane career, the man with no features, Jermaine “I let Nas down" Cole
Within my friend group, I have achieved the status of "the J Cole hater", and honestly, its a hat I wear proudly, even put a feather on the hat so you guys don’t miss it. Don't get me wrong now, I don't hate J Cole. No, not at all. The man is a competent rapper with a good career and huge fanbase, but that’s what I hate, his fanbase. Those people irritate me than anything on earth. This always leads to me coming out like an absolute asshole as I have to retort with some harsh comments. While bumping Friday Night Lights back at home. A sad life really
So today I'll just be "talking" about Mr Jermaine. Why? Because its fun. And cause whatever I say, you must understand he will go down as one of the best rappers of this generation.
Butttttttt... he'll forever be known as the other guy. This is gonna be known as the time of Kendrick and Drake. Hip hop heads will tell me he's on their level but, he ain’t. That’s just how it is. Unless you're a die-hard fan, he almost always be the third guy people are going to mention when talking about this generation. And that’s fine (holds the laugh). He's like the third member of Destiny's child. I don't really know her name. The gospel one.
So, lets talk about this “went platinum without features “thing of his. It is said, if you say this 3 times in a row a Cole fan appears in front of you with a blunt and a bible (don’t quote me). What always gets me though, is well… the last time he had features on his album, the features were the best part of those songs. Don’t get me wrong he had very good verses... but if I think of “Forbidden Fruit" the first thing that comes to my mind is “me and my bitch,” and the thoughts that “ damn a Kendrick verse is all it needed”, ( mind you he dodged that smoke again in “ under the sun “ ). Want another example? Power trip. That song only hit the levels it did cause of the beauty that is Miguel. Don't get me wrong I love J Cole’s second verse. He murders it. But that song is Miguel’s baby for the chords he hits on chorus. Want more? New York with 50 cent. I don’t think I should go all the way back to “in the morning” now should I. So, what this makes me think is he doesn’t want to be smoked again. This is just a theory.
Okay this point is a quick one. “I wanna fold clothes for you" that’s it. That’s the diss.
So, either than 2014 forest hills drive how many classic albums does your Fav have. The 2018 one was wack (you can quote me) ... the album about folding clothes was forgettable, Born Sinner is one I could accept an argument for, maybe, but either than that... your boy doesn’t have an argument for goat status. And I'm waiting for you guys to say it’s because I don’t get his music....
He said “I’m just playing “after dissing Iggy and the Grammys on fire squad. I know he says all jokes contain true shit but say that shit with your chest.... Smh, light skinned niggers
He's light skinned.
To bring my hating to an end, I'll be talking about the musicality. Now this one is because he produces his own music, but I mean that's cool and all but it does limit the sound of your music. One of my favourite hip hop albums (TPAB) had a wide variety of producers, resulting in an album that takes you through a journey without losing its main jazzy/ funk feel. Now let’s go to the album about folding clothes. It kinda sounds monotone doesn't it. Even on the last one (KOD) he brings in trap and stuff, it just doesn't sound right. He really does need to bring in outside producers, so his music doesn't become stagnant. Come on Jermaine, get Pharrel on your shit to give it that “thing"
So, this is not me saying he is bad... he's good.... ish but J Cole fans suck, and I love trolling so you're welcome.
Shout mental illness.