Rejecting a gift from God is always perceived as being rude and ungrateful. The ever-present narcissism that exists in humans creates the belief that the higher power crafted the gift with you solemnly in their mind, the almighty focusing all their being into creating something made to be forever cherished by you. It could be a different case where all these gifts and talents are nonchalantly mass produced and are given out randomly at the end of the creation conveyer belt. The gift may come from a place of love but wrapped in misunderstanding; even the unsolicited clothes your parents bought that were three fashion senses away from yours. However the gift or talent has been presented and it rests on us to choose the manner of reception.
Kids are left to explore the vast reaches of their untapped capabilities with the parents handling of the responsibility and consequences of such actions, namely the bitter feeling of looking at the cricket bat they bought for you when you decided on a wimp that you might be the next Ricky Ponting and ended up being a version of Makhaya Ntini at the top of the batting order. Kids are at an unappreciated stage when they can try and fail at a variety of things with little or no consequences. This stage goes unappreciated because that is all they have known and it is understandable to assume that it will last forever but we’re not Nigel Uno.
As the years go by the decisions we make tend to have increased opportunity cost; I could finish off these last two episodes but I’ll lose a good two hours of preparing from tomorrow’s test. ***Pro tip: try spontaneous productivity, you’re a human not a factory. However this requires discipline, yeah can’t escape it but this way is much more comfortable. Lol mahn I’m talking bullshit, get a study timetable and stop finding fancy ways to describe procrastination*** Okay where was I? Making decisions? Yeah making decisions. High schools bunch up fifteen and sixteen year olds with their parents at one career talk in hopes of making the most suitable subject choice for their future ambitions. Is it wise to entrust fifteen and sixteen year olds with such choices? Having to select subjects that would set the start of a domino effect on your life. Quite a heavy task for a fifteen year old who knows nothing beyond the high walls of school that blind us of the life beyond. Parents may provide guidance to their best of their abilities but you to deal with the effects of the choice.
The Duality
All of my decisions in life have led me here, to the exact moment of typing this and that is can be a daunting thought. Yes there are exterior factors that influence my life but I am the one who chooses the reaction. Playing the best way I can with the cards I was dealt I chose to study the financially safer option instead of the one I’d do for no pay if situations were different. I chose to study something that will give me a better chance to improve my family’s quality of life, I saw sacrificing the route that would likely end up satisfying only me as a necessary evil. A lot of my peers are faced with this trade-off and most are in situations far worse than mine, without the twang to mask it. I am not unique or an anomaly, other people go through such but it still does not take away the fact that I am faced personally by such a choice. Living with the necessary evil is the tougher part of the process.
Some days are a reminder who what you have given up. Other days you have a burning desire to indulge in the forbidden fruits of your passion but you have to go to a lecture that inspires no excitement in the choice you made. I had developed a growing comfort in that perception of my situation. Whenever I focused more on one I ended being frustrated at neglecting the other. I had a vague concept that both these words would suffer without the other but I did not know how to apply it, that propelled the anger towards my situation and the choices I made. The cure to my frustrations rested in dividing my time wisely. The two states of mind balance each other out and one without the other suffers.
Andile and Malum Wakho